May 08, 2012

cabin fever

It seems i have been away from all of you for some time.
i have been quiet on the blog but not so quiet
in the studio and my family life.

it is a interesting life, being an artist and
i can honestly say that i didn't choose to be an artist it chose me. 
i think that I really didn't quite understand how deep
this need to create went until I had my own children. 

my business course came to a close about a week ago and
i was so ready to be back in the studio creating more on a full time basis.
i was armed with mountains of enthusiasm,
plans, dreams and plenty of sketches.
i worked like crazy sculpting and illustrating.

ah, things were going just as I planned
or where they?

enter real life, family life, motherhood and the unexpected.

oh yes, I balanced it all while my husband was away.
i can do this i told myself.
(i have done this before with little ones.)
so, I took my super human pills and made my way through
a week of unexpected happenings.

when my husband returned home
he found me curled up on the couch ... exhausted.

you would think that this would be a cue
that maybe it was time to take care of myself?

but, my mind thought differently...
 hubby back, kids off to school and i have an entire week
to really move mountains in the studio and meet my goals.

on the fourth day my rollercoaster ride took a deep nose dive.

yep, i had cabin fever ...

i found myself not knowing which way was up.
i can only discribe it as standing in the middle of a forest
looking up at the tree tops
and not knowing which direction to take.

i knew that this kind of  misery only needed one thing
 and that was to walk away.

the following day i did just that ...
away from the studio and out of the house.
but more importantly out of my own head.
i also promised myself to not feel guilty about it.

why is that? 
that we tend to feel that self nurturing is frivolous ...
(is that a female thing or a Stacey thing?)

in fact I spent the weekend not planning,
not thinking too much,
 being outside and
simply letting go of what I think
I should be doing.

i like to think that our souls are a lot like a garden
and each part needs nurturing and tending too.
we all know, if we spend too much time on
one plant what happens to the rest.
over the last few years,
 I have really tried to keep this concept in mind
and I usually listen to the cues ...

but this time i got very lost in my thoughts.

it feels so good to be refreshed now
and on the other side of that downward dip. 

last week, one of my sons was on a 4 day canoe trip
in beautiful Algonquin Provincial Park in northern Ontario.
the photos i share with you today (except the ones of my work)
are a few of the gorgeous shots he captured.

don't they just make you feel calm?

like you are right where you are supposed to be.

i will always have this deep connection in my heart
to northern Ontario after growing up there.

k.d. langs' lyrics to the song "Helpless!"
express my feelings well.

"There is a town in north Ontario,
With dream comfort memory to spare,
And in my mind I still need a place to go,
All my changes were there."

i think last week i could of used time
in the Northern air to clear my head.

but these photos,

gifts from my son,

certainly help me to feel calm and nurtured.
(thank you son!)

 Enjoy your day!


  1. Absolutely gorgeous photos!! Self care is so important. PattyC xxoo

    1. thank you I will pass along your kind words to the photographer Patty C! xoxox

  2. Ah, Stacey, you inspire me! I am so BUSY and running ragged, I just wish I could walk away briefly, outside, peaceful and calm, to actually think and let my mind be free of it all! Ahh. Thank you for a brief step away from reality...I soaked in the photos your son took (thank him for me!) and I may come back to re-read this inspiring post as needed. Good for you, giving yourself permission to take a one else will do it for us, that's for sure. Thanks again...and I look forward to future posts, whatever they hold!

    1. Judy! i am so happy to hear you found this post inspiring and thank you for taking the time to write. it sometimes takes the wind to be knocked out of our sails before we realize what we truly need. i will let my son know that his photos have sprinkled some goodness into your busy life. do take care ... and give yourself that break ... don't wait until you get all tangled up like i did.

  3. Well, I don't really want to read the other posts, I know they've been touched by your post as I have. Your writings have taken me away, if only for a few moments, from my hectic life. Those photos ... those photos ... I have not seen better. I'm sure they have no textures, actions, etc. just SOOC stuff and AMAZING! Print them up huge on a wall in your home so they bring calm and joy to you all every day!
    Love the new sculpture, Stacey! Best of luck to you with all your new products you have going! I miss talking with you in the chat rooms, it was always so exciting to see your avi there!
    You know, you have one up on me ... you know what I look like (from my blog), but I don't know what you look like. I always imagined you look like the little blond girl you have as your avatar up at the top of your blog. I wonder how far off I am?!
    Love ya and your writings, your drawings, your insights, your photos (and your son's). Glad I know ya!!

    1. Sue, I have missed our chats as well - believe me and so very much apart of my cabin fever. I am so glad that my writing has given you a bit of an escape. That part is so heartwarming to me. Thank you for the beautiful comments about my son's photos. You are right - no textures or actions just straight shooting. I did crop them a tad though. They are as pure as they get and do I dare say the boy barely picks up a camera although he does have an interest in it.
      Well, Sue. In essence I am a bit like that little avatar although I never had the long, long hair ... so i created that and it was never very perfect in a pony tail. Isn't drawing great that way? So, you are not that far off. I am so glad to know you too and do keep in touch as you create your own magic with your camera.

  4. Ah... we certainly don't live side by side but boy do we go through the same things in life. Love the photographs your son has have taught him well. Hank

    1. Hank! it's funny how similar things can connect us all.
      i really can't take much credit for my son's abilities ... it is all him and that is what is so beautiful about those photos ... even though he is behind the camera he has captured moments that speak to his soul and who he is. Being his mother I can see all that. The magic is that he had no idea that other souls would connect to what he captured. Just like when I wrote this post I had no idea how much others would connect... it is magic. I am so grateful!