i have been quiet on the blog but not so quiet
in the studio and my family life.
it is a interesting life, being an artist and
i can honestly say that i didn't choose to be an artist it chose me.
i think that I really didn't quite understand how deep
this need to create went until I had my own children.
my business course came to a close about a week ago and
i was so ready to be back in the studio creating more on a full time basis.
i was armed with mountains of enthusiasm,
plans, dreams and plenty of sketches.
ah, things were going just as I planned
or where they?
enter real life, family life, motherhood and the unexpected.
oh yes, I balanced it all while my husband was away.
i can do this i told myself.
(i have done this before with little ones.)
so, I took my super human pills and made my way through
a week of unexpected happenings.
when my husband returned home
he found me curled up on the couch ... exhausted.
you would think that this would be a cue
that maybe it was time to take care of myself?
but, my mind thought differently...
hubby back, kids off to school and i have an entire week
to really move mountains in the studio and meet my goals.
on the fourth day my rollercoaster ride took a deep nose dive.
yep, i had cabin fever ...
i found myself not knowing which way was up.
i can only discribe it as standing in the middle of a forest
looking up at the tree tops
and not knowing which direction to take.
i knew that this kind of misery only needed one thing
and that was to walk away.
the following day i did just that ...
away from the studio and out of the house.
but more importantly out of my own head.
i also promised myself to not feel guilty about it.
why is that?
that we tend to feel that self nurturing is frivolous ...
(is that a female thing or a Stacey thing?)
being outside and
simply letting go of what I think
I should be doing.
i like to think that our souls are a lot like a garden
and each part needs nurturing and tending too.
we all know, if we spend too much time on
one plant what happens to the rest.
over the last few years,
I have really tried to keep this concept in mind
and I usually listen to the cues ...
but this time i got very lost in my thoughts.
it feels so good to be refreshed now
and on the other side of that downward dip.
last week, one of my sons was on a 4 day canoe trip
in beautiful Algonquin Provincial Park in northern Ontario.
the photos i share with you today (except the ones of my work)
are a few of the gorgeous shots he captured.
don't they just make you feel calm?
like you are right where you are supposed to be.
i will always have this deep connection in my heart
to northern Ontario after growing up there.
k.d. langs' lyrics to the song "Helpless!"
express my feelings well.
"There is a town in north Ontario,
With dream comfort memory to spare,
And in my mind I still need a place to go,
All my changes were there."
i think last week i could of used time
in the Northern air to clear my head.
but these photos,
gifts from my son,
certainly help me to feel calm and nurtured.
(thank you son!)
Enjoy your day!