January 29, 2013

winter ... a time to rejuvenate!


it has been some time.... 
(much longer than i expected.)

i have found myself in "winter" lately.
(that is my soul, my heart ... my sparkle)

it took me some time to recognize it.
i thought at first maybe my exhaustion was due to the busy holiday season.
(it usually happens to me after such a busy time.)

but, this has been a very different form of "winter" for me.

one that went to the depths of my heart.
(you know, places that you might rarely visit)

it all began about mid november.
i experienced very happy, delightful moments and some
incredibly heart wrenching personal sadness.

the sadness brought me to places in my heart that i pray i don't revisit
for a very long time or preferably never again.

it depleted me.

right up until Christmas i was working very long hours in the studio
on a very special and exciting project.
(one that i will share with you at a later date.)

but, between working, my family, a few unforeseen events, and
all the Christmas preparations and festivities,

i neglected to take time for me. 

 and so began my winter ...
eventually i recognized it for what it was and embraced it.

i took naps when life would allow me.
(and for those who know me well, you know that it is not something i do.)

i read books - some were for pure pleasure and some for my business.

i sketched.
(wrapped up in a blanket on the couch.)

i upgrade my computer and began learning about my new tablet.
( this was a must -  but a huge frustration which ended up having a domino effect.)
it is why my online shop has remained closed until today.
(it also probably prolonged my "winter")

i became quiet.

i wrote and wrote and wrote in my journal.
trying to let go of some of the hurt. 

i made homemade soup, stew and baked.
(you know good old fashioned homemade comfort food.)

i spent time being with my boys and my husband.

i had many long phone conversations with my mom.
(if i could of,  i would of made the long trip home to visit her)

i took photos.

i took walks in the bush and
on one occasion my husband and I even saw an owl.
we felt so lucky to get a glimpse of this creature.
(however, i was disappointed i didn't have my zoom lens with me.)

i was still carrying on with my life but being gentle with myself.
(no expectations or self-induced demands.)

i am slowly emerging from this slumber.
feeling brighter and lighter.

i found myself in the studio this past weekend completing a new illustration.

i kept on referring to the "Serenity Prayer" during the times that i was sad.
(my mother has always had this hanging in her kitchen)
i don't think i understood the depth of this prayer until now.

it seemed very fitting to add it to my new illustration
to hang in my studio as a personal reminder.

i feel the excitement once again bubbling up inside me to create.

i am so grateful for it.
(i deeply missed that part of me.)

i do want to thank each and every one of you for being patient.

thank you for waiting for me to feel like writing and sharing again.

thank you for continuing to read my blog and
for encouraging me with all your kind words.

but mostly,
thank you for understanding.


  1. Oh my gosh did this post hit home for me. I'm in that mode right now where I just want to go into the winter slumber from which you are just emerging ... maybe it's okay to give ourselves permission to just take a time out?

    1. Ann Marie! i am only beginning to learn to accept these periods of "winter" in my life. embrace it, be kind to yourself and above all remember after winter comes spring and you will be well rested to bloom once again!

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  3. Perhaps always think of January as your self-vacation. Every year after the Christmas rush, take the full month off to do whatever you want to do, no deadlines or orders. I too, did too much from October onwards and have only just returned to my sewing room to do a few small projects. I did, however, color one of your images today and it will soon be on its way to my friend in Alberta. Welcome back, and your newest illustration is beautiful.

    1. Jeanette! Thank you for the kind words about my new illustration. Yes, I usually look forward to that time in January to be quiet after the Christmas rush. But, unfortunately for me it wasn't just about Christmas. It was much more. Sometimes life just hands you a lot at once even when you have the best intentions and plans in place. I think for me it was just about giving myself the permission to listen what I really needed. I am very grateful for this time. Welcome back to you too! I am sure your friend will love your card you created. I took a peek and it is so sweet. Beautiful work.

  4. The serenity prayer has been part of my life for a very long time. I love the new illustration that includes the prayer. May the rest of the year bring you contentment! your work adds smiles to my life.

    1. Thank you so much for your sweet wishes for me. I wish you the same and may my work continue to bring smiles to your life!

  5. I'm sorry for whatever personal crises took you to the depths of sadness. I've been there and I understand that is it necessary to just let go and do what you need to do to heal your heart. Journaling, sketching, creating and yes, reciting that serenity prayer got me through some very dark days. I'm glad to hear brightness is coming back into your life. You are blessed with an amazing talent, and that will help you find your way back! Thank you for sharing such a lovely post!

    1. thank you lisa! i know that many of us have been there. that is why i decided to share. i am just like anyone else with ups and downs. it is funny when things come into your life - i probably walked by that prayer in my mother's kitchen so many times and it reappeared in my life at a well needed time. certainly words i will keep close to my heart from now on. however, my creativity always seems to help me stay bright. I wish you many creative moments to keep your days bright as well!